The mindful dance of life: embracing failure and intuition

What did I learn this year?

Last Monday evening, I joyfully jumped onto the penultimate live Zoom session of my Mindfulness Mentor Training. The mentor leading us, David Cabrera, models mindful mentoring beautifully. It was quite the revelation when I first ‘met’ him online in September. The outpouring of positive feedback from our group must have been why we were offered the pleasure of a second session with him.

During the Q&A portion of the call, he thoughtfully addressed our collective fears and doubts, questions that had been plaguing many of us about our practice and journey to becoming mentors. After all, these are big shoes to fill. Mr Cabrera listened with care, perceptible in his body language and energy, before offering soothing and encouraging words.

So, what wisdom did he share?

This kind soul, who by all accounts seemed so at ease and natural in guiding a few hundred of us through somatic practices, guided meditation and reflection, chose to show us his imperfections. Live on screen, he unveiled how he too has needed the support of his own mentors, especially in moments when, despite his best intentions, his words or actions fell short. That, there, was a big lesson. I had heard of it: the difference between impact and intent. 

Mistakes are inevitable, and sometimes things won't go as planned.

There have been moments when he (just like I did) entered a situation with the best intentions, only to have it totally backfire. Ouch! I’ve walked away from those experiences feeling disheartened.

In those moments, I now understand I need to reach out to my mentors, share what has happened and seek their guidance. They will remind me, just like Mr Cabrera did on that call, that this is an inherent part of the learning process, of being in a community, of serving others and growing as a facilitator. 

The beauty which I am learning is that you can find encouragement within the discouragement itself. 

Failure and disappointment: two universal experiences that every human being can relate to. 

The following day, as I was pottering in my kitchen, chopping vegetables — a perfectly mindful activity — the end-of-year reflection project popped into my mind.

What have I learned this year? I muttered to myself.

I love that question.

What have I learned this year?

Trusting the quality of the question, I waited patiently for my brain to deliver the goods — the answer, the insight.

“Oh, I know! I failed.”

Right on topic. Indeed, I have failed more often than usual this year.

Good!

 You may be surprised. Well, yes, good. I failed more because I did put myself out there way more than I ever have — proactively so. I reached out for projects, contracts and opportunities that felt aligned with my heart, my values and my energy. Some of these attempts fell flat, as lifeless as a sad, soppy pancake (still riding my food metaphors).

Others looked promising until they weren’t. And a handful are currently developing nicely. 

Failure is okay. It’s inevitable, just like mistakes are. And sometimes, failure is a good sign! One that signals effort, intention, impending growth.

One last one for the road…

What else have I learned this year?

That I need to trust my intuition. I’ve doubled down on my studies, outside of work, because of this inherent trust. I don’t need to know how and why I am pulled toward certain topics or teachers. Instead, I am planting more seeds. 

I’ve learned to embrace my body as a vehicle for intuition, and every day, I am learning to let myself be guided by it — recognising and following where my energy is pulling me.

The flip side of this has been learning to stop forcing things to happen — learning not to push against. When things I’m hoping for don’t materialise, despite my best efforts, I’m learning to let go.

Tough one. But also, about time.

This new approach feels akin to a dance — a mindful dance with life and work.

It’s as if there’s a partner outside of me, an invisible presence all around, playfully (well, today I’ll call it playful) signalling the next move. Think of it as a lesson in polarity.