To my undercover mentors

A post caught my attention on Instagram the other day. On a grey background, a quote read:

I did just what the lady said: I picked two amazing women I follow — author and meditation teacher​ Ruth King​​ and the ever-wonderful researcher, author and speaker ​Brené Brown​​ — and I shared two of their recent posts. There. Not admiring them quietly.

And that was that. I went about my day. Then my weekend. Days later, a thought interrupted me while I was hoovering (cleaning helps me think).

“I am one of them now.”

...

I haven’t had strong women mentors over the course of my fashion career. Mentors, when I think about it, feel like such a foreign concept to me — specifically, American.

Due to the organic nature of my trajectory, I gleaned wisdom from many informal sources, and not just internally. As Arnold Schwarzenegger​ is known to have said​​:

“Don’t ever call me a self-made man, I didn’t make it that far on my own.”

Throughout my 15 years of managing teams, I hired well. I embraced the philosophy (or is it an attitude?) to recruit people smarter than me, especially when it comes to their area of expertise.

There were a couple of notable exceptions, of course, which taught me some valuable lessons.

I gained so much from working with each of these individuals. But beyond my smart and funny and cool team members, my peers and my bosses, I remember just how successful we were at appointing external agencies, especially in new markets: they supported the growth of the business and our strategy of global communications at Christian Louboutin.

I recall with glee how joyful and expansive the conversations I had with the women who led these agencies were. Like that first time I met the director of our PR agency in India, Archana Jain, who’d come to Paris for our first global PR meeting. We got stranded in a small restaurant while a snowstorm descended on a dark January night, and we talked and talked.

Her point of view was fresh. Her perspective on life, the market and the industry was indisputably broader than most around the table. As a pioneer in public relations and communications in the field of luxury, hospitality and consumer goods in India, her words and empathetic manner enhanced every conversation she took part in.

Those of us who worked in-house suffered from having drunk the Kool-Aid. That’s normal, it happens. Up in our luxury ivory tower, our perspective on the world, down below, was fuzzy. We needed the lens that our partner offered.

I remember having a similar woman-crush after meeting ​​Renata Grabert​​, the founder of our Brazilian PR agency.

I walked away from those interactions acutely aware of how enriching these women’s presences were to our group. They added to our thinking, our empathy and our effectiveness as communication professionals.

Archana and Renata weren’t much older than me, but I put them on a mental pedestal.

The phrase that comes to me now is ‘wise women.’

And they were (or rather are). Both trailblazers in a developing market who chose to focus on luxury brand communication, they owned their expertise in a quiet and powerful way.

Their understanding of the economic and sociological environment that they were in was clear. And they also brought such goodwill, benevolence, and positivity.

I held these women in high regard and had taken such comfort in the wisdom, the know-how, the knowledge that they brought to every conversation, I simply didn’t realise that throughout the years we worked together, they were showing me the way. They were undercover mentors; smart, savvy, and inspiring role models.

This was a strange and tender realisation to come to.

As I was jiggling the cables around to hoover under my desk, I realised what I’ve gained since I became an independent consultant eight years ago, free to chart my own course.

I am one of them now.

I am older, perhaps the age they were when we first met; there are even a couple of grey hairs starting to show among my ombré highlights. I too have broadened my perspective, thanks to the experiences I sought, just as the ones I didn’t, continuing to build myself and my expertise.

At my leisure, following my instinct, I have opened up the doors of my network and my imagination. I’ve refined my skills, and gained several new unexpected ones. Each exchange, each new contract and client and event, and each course or book (and there have been many of both) encouraged me to adopt a new and broader worldview.

These women modelled for me how to show up, and how great the possibilities are when you find the right partner to develop your brand and communication.

And how much value the right partner can bring, especially when times are tough.

Many women have had a rough time lately. Some — men and women alike — want us out of the boardroom and into the kitchen, or wherever else old ways dictate how we should spend our days.

For this reason, it feels timely to follow both the invitation from that fleeting thought, and the advice offered by Chimananda Adichie (via Arianna Huffington).

Now is not a time to admire quietly.

This connects me to the goodness and guidance I’ve received.

May I too become a beacon radiating guidance and inspiration, illuminating the path for those in need of clarity and direction, finding their way in both life and career.

This is my ode to wise women.

To agency founders. To freelancers and entrepreneurs. To all the unofficial women mentors who tirelessly show up, and make our work better, more empathetic and impactful.

You leave your mark on the world by doing so, and for that, and so much more, I am grateful.

I’ve recorded a guided meditation to send Loving Kindness to our mentors. Click ​here​ to access the recording. Enjoy!